The Ultimatum

Abusing each other

both leave the conversation

hanging in the middle-

decide to never see each other’s face

choose different paths:

destiny mocked-

land up in a conference

face to face-

couldn’t stand each other

even for a second

rage burning in their eyes.

Years of hatred wasn’t easy to handle

volcano, you can call it:

broken hearts take years to mend

how could time heal those wounds?

The familiar, horrifyingly intense ache

was enough

to keep the flames burning.

The ongoing war

couldn’t be hidden for long,

nor could they hide their desolation.

They sat quietly,

just for the sake of their job’s-

swallowed up the pain

deep inside it rested,

and tore them apart.

-Shikha Bajaj

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An Open Letter to my “Busiest” Friend

Dear I’m always busy friend,

I never thought I’d write a letter to you, but you don’t really seem to leave me with any other option.
So, here am I! You must be thinking, why all such formalities and blah blah blah. Wait. Let me first complete my part of the story. You’re then allowed to think and ask questions, present your part. Rather, debate.
1) You are a virtual friend of mine. And at this point of my life, I don’t need one. I’ve plenty of real friends, whom I think, exist as a proper noun, unlike you, who seem like a computer’s player, an abstract noun.
2) Advice. We should rather not talk on this. We both know we suck at giving advice. Especially on relationships.
3) You’re like a fake GPS location hack, I hope you know that. Honesty is the foundation of every relation. And I guess our foundation was a weak one- for you hid everything from me, and ironically called me your so called “Friend”.
4) You never replied. Didn’t reply? No no, you ignored. Yes, and whenever you did this, it felt like something really hard has punched right in my gut.
5) You know what, my college is double the distance of your home and my place. So telling me I live far away is the most stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard.
6) Since three years, you’re busy. Wow. I like this one. This is the biggest lie. No one is too busy to not meet a person in 3 years. It’s all about priorities. Timings don’t adjust, time is short, loaded with assignments, don’t have enough holidays, and more. Don’t bluff around.
P.S. You can write a book on “1001 ways on how to ignore people”.
Introspect, before you think I’ve said anything wrong up till now.
I know you won’t ever read this letter, and I’m glad for it. You didn’t, but at least I changed my priorities. This is best for both of us, I feel. Well, you were and you are always free to exercise your choice. This time, I exercised mine. Wish you a very happy new year.
Yours  Never Yours,
Shikha.

The Girl Behind The Novel

Eyes absorbed in every word of the novel,

The Spectacles right on the edge of the nose,

Sitting near the window sill,

She kept reading, till her hair mocked,

And she played with them.

 

She smiled as she went past the pages,

She giggled; laughed; cried; prayed-

All the emotions coursing through her.

 

The twists and turns made her stomach churn,

Her face now grows pale:

Intensely thinking post reading,

What goes wrong.

 

She was two sided-

And just like the moon, no one had seen the other side.

 

People underestimated her, neglected her-

She was not just “The Girl Behind The Novel” as labeled by many,

But something more than that,

More than anyone’s imagination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Raksha Bandhan

Dear Bhaiya,

In this whatsapp era, who writes a letter, when the person is just a call away? But I hope you find this letter in pink of your health. How are everyone? How’s your studies? Well, everything’s fine here, and I hope you too are sailing in the same boat.

I remember when I was in my late childhood, back then mom used to dictate me sentences which i was supposed to write on an A4 size sheet, with a neat handwriting and zero errors. Not much acquaintance with the language made me repeat the same words over and over. From getting my letter proofread by the whole family to quietly posting it by myself, we grew up. I no longer think what I will write, or how will you react. Conversations have become much deeper. Letters now play an emotional role in my life. I can probably write anything and everything. So like every year, I am writing you this letter, and to break the monotony of the previous ones, I won’t send the instructions for Didi. Because by now, didi would have already spoken up my list even before the letter arrives.

Bhaiya, we have had a lot of memories together. Some day, instead of posting, I’ll tie you the rakhi, and there I would not have to write a letter.

Give my regards to everyone.

 

Yours loving sister,

Shikha.

YOU

I once again curled on my bed,

With no sign of you, I began to dread-

Loneliness makes me sad,

Reminding me how days are good and nights are bad.

 

I fear every moment,

Your memories indeed haunt me:

And how I feel the presence of your soul around-

Flicking my hair with impish glee.

 

Why did you leave so early?

I never felt this weak and pale;

My knees trembled, soul shattered to a million pieces,

And the only thing which could soothe were your tales.

 

Every centimeter square of this house reminds me of you,

I’m lonely, and longing, for you,

This is true, and I can’t deny-

I’ll get everything in this world, but  YOU.

The Final Parting

Novels. Huge books, as defined by many. Alluring, addictive for me. I hated reading story books, fairy tales, novels, newspapers, in short, everything. I slowly developed a taste and interest for novels because of my closest friend. She enlightened me with the benefits of reading, and I witnessed them myself.

In the beginning of my journey, the number of pages scared me. The thought of reading the entire novel was something I didn’t consider my cup of tea, until I read one. The novels are my escape from reality. I could travel whole world, enjoy my dawns and dusk, eat luscious savories, slip and enjoy the audi and mercedes’ rides, and much more. The idea of parting from my favorite characters haunt me. I know I have to remain affixed and concentrate, but I am helpless, for it’s just too addictive! But today, my parents have made my worst nightmares come true. The pain of getting separated from them forever has choked my throat, it is beyond my pen’s capability. I didn’t knew my journey would end so soon, and so abruptly. I laughed when I heard their final decision, but my wet pillow gave a different reaction. I don’t know what made them do this, I never expected my fate to be this harsh with me.

I don’t know if I will ever make my way back through those shut doors. I cannot imagine anything worse than this. Deep down, I just pray, like my novels, this isn’t real.

P.S.: I fear the day the storm within me would burst, but I’d still try till my last attempt, to hold on.

An Act Of Love

Love. People say it’s beautiful. Some say it hurts. So my question is “What is Love?” Is it some person, who makes you happy or sad, or is it some animal who’s scary? Well, everyone has got their own versions of this so called LOVE. For some, it’s merely lust, or attraction. For some, it is worship. Some hate it, while some are in search of it. But I think that it is above all the definitions. It’s a feeling, which cannot be described. You don’t need to tell those species that you love them. You express it. And it’s not only typical “couple thing”, it is what a mother does to her child, an animal does to his master, a gardener does to those flowers grown in his garden.

Many of us like animals, and are fond of having pets. I personally don’t like to have pets at my home. There’s a street dog in our area, who has been coming and resting outside my house for about a week. I usually go out at the time it comes and rests. Since two days it has changed it’s time, and now comes a bit early. I happened to see it come early, so quickly got some biscuits and broke into pieces. It was so hungry it couldn’t wait and licked them from my hands. I could see a strange satiety in his eyes, and his tail was wagging swiftly. We share a strange bond between us. It tries to say a lot, and gestures are enough for us to communicate. Words are not always required.

This feeling, is love. I felt it for that animal, who is shooed away by everyone, thinking he’ll bite them. Even he’s searching love, for someone who can caress him. Finding love and happiness is not difficult. Change it’s definition, and see the difference!

Road Trip

Traveling is something which soothes my soul. There are various modes of traveling, but road trips are my favorite. Especially when you just pack your bag and go where the road takes you, exploring new places, the way it is carved so perfectly, the smooth texture, and you’re mesmerized. I had recently been to Hyderabad, which was a 15 hour long journey, and believe me, it all felt like a dream. There’ll be times when your vehicle will fumble over the stony path, but they’ll too feel amazing like a roller coaster. The trees around are swaying by, allowing you to feel like a flying bird. The breaking of the dawn, the falling of the night, everything seems so beautiful. In cities, we are so busy with our own lives and problems that we hardly get time to appreciate nature. While moving, you’ll realize that you were actually packed in a box all this while, suffocated and choked. Now when you’re out, you can breathe freely. You now know what’s the real world, which exists far beyond our imagination. You can hear birds chirping early in the morning, leaves humming their own songs, sun rays smiling at all those field laborers, wind playing with the hair of those girls swinging, water splashing on the feet of women washing clothes, stars gazing people sleeping on their rooftops. I just can’t describe how it feels, so you should witness it at least once in your lifetime!

No Pain, No Gain!

“That’s the thing about Pain. It demands to be felt”. This line is from one of my favorite novels “The Fault In our Stars”. You reread this novel, and still can’t get over it, because it actually makes us think for a while. But this is true. I didn’t knew humans are so good at faking smiles. It takes courage to say “I’m Okay” when your eyes deny to lie. The water rolls down, but you somehow let it absorb on your cheek and try hiding the maximum you can. Remember, Happiness and Pain can never be hidden. That is the reason why people fall for a beautiful face. It’s the internal beauty which reflects. If you’re happy in, you’ll be shining out, and if you’re sad, your face will reflect the darkest secrets. There can be innumerable reasons, many a times irrelevant and unpractical expectations, which snatch our happiness. Shed your tears only for the one’s who are actually worth it, because Some don’t even deserve our grudges for them. When they have already broken you to smaller fragments, no on can break you any further. And at this stage, you’re the strongest version of yourself. If you’ve lost something, it is for the sake of getting better than that. Life is to smile, to enjoy, be a kid, roam around, hang out with motivating spirits, laugh like an insane and much more. Don’t waste it on something which isn’t worth anything!

Girl: Boon or Curse?

I see you coming in my path

I diverge to left in utter dismay;

Your gaze fixed on my neckline

Say a lot, you know?

I never feared to walk alone on silent nights

My mom titled me “Brave”

But now I feel a strange discomfort

On this daily route of mine.

The air played with my skirt

As it folded a few inches up:

I’m not sure how I reacted

But you’d definitely directed.

I wouldn’t curse you for this

I rather curse myself for being a girl:

For wearing all those clothes

Which even show my palms-

Maybe we should hire some good Eskimo dresses

Which will soothe your eyes

And I hope this time

I’ll be spared by your sight.